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Talking about phobia is at once interesting and difficult. You know, it’s not easy to admit that you fear something especially when you find it very stupid. It’s a lot like you make fool of yourself. But at the same time, it’s very exciting cos’ you will have a chance to know the weaknesses of others and maybe to laugh at them. And that’s exactly what we did last Thursday, huh?
I bet that most of you know what phobia is but how about its origin? He he, it comes from Greek, of course. In the Greek myths, Phobos is the name of a god who is summoned to frighten the enemies. His image then was painted on the masks or the shields of the warriors for that purpose. And nowadays, we have a lot of ***phobias, in which some we’ve never heard before even in Vietnamese.
If you spare a little time brainstorming for a list of fears, you would be surprised. You would find yourself to be scared by a wide variety of reasons. Some fear very supernatural factors such as God or thunderbolt, but some fear extremely trivial things like cockroach, rat or ugly people (??). You may be frightened by AIDS, boredom or growing old; some very popular reasons. But the others may fear something very funny and strange, namely, dentist, being ignored, or impotence! Don’t laugh! I know it sounds funny and even silly. But the point is that they are scared. Just like you! And you certainly know what a fear is!
The more we talked about our phobias, the more interesting we felt. Have you ever been so scared that your hair stood on end? Do you know the reason of this phenomenon? Look at a cat. When it’s frightened, its hair stands on end and it looks bigger (if there is no cat around you at the moment, just try to recall the Tom cat when it suddenly faces the dog, he he). So what? If the cat prays silently and has a bit of luck, its bigger body can scare away the enemies. Amazing, right? We, human beings, are much more superior. You are scared? Your eyes will open wide and your pupils (not the ones you teach but the ones inside your eyes) will dilate so that you can see well. You are frightened? Your heart pumps harder and harder, yes, it thumps, and your blood is transferred faster to give you more energy. That’s the reason why you will become pale while your blood goes from your skin to your muscles (to run away?) and your brain (to prevent you from fainting away directly into the arms of the enemies?). Then don’t be shy if you look “as pale as the banana leaf” (I coined this idiom, sure). And what else? Perhaps you will start to breath faster for more oxygen, stop digesting and begin to sweat to cool off your muscles. What a procedure!
Do you have any childhood fear? Does it last until today? You know what, the scientists have made a wide range of experiments and discovered that children don’t have innate fear, but for some reasons, the more age we get, the more fears we have. (What a waste of time cos’ we surely know that we are scared more and more with each passing day!). When I was a child, I was frightened of snakes. These dangerous reptiles look very horrible while they, covered by scales, crawl around without any legs. And some of them are venomous. Hic, they can kill you immediately with just a bite. The older told the little me that the snakes love to sleep in our beds and some of them had woken up with a curling up snake by their sides. And for a long period, I was afraid of one day, after my sleep, the first thing I could see is a snake. Of course, these days I don’t have such a fear cos’ another one even worse always comes across my mind every morning. Ha ha, don’t be that curious! It’s another story. Back to the snake, I am still scared of them. I usually take part in some trekking tours into the jungles and I am still very nervous when I think that a snake can suddenly appear and end my adventure right away with an extremely painful bite. But one amazing thing is that this feeling never discourages me; instead, I find it very exciting to carry on since it’s a lot like overcoming myself.
Like millions of other people, I hate dentist (except some special ones, one more secret). The pain he caused for me was so unbearable that I always tried to pick the decayed teeth at home, on my own. Yes, on my own, not only the front teeth but the molar teeth as well. How could I do that? Simply, push! In that way, I could control my pain. I still remember when I had my first molar teeth out by a neighbor dentist. She used a very, very big syringe to inject the desensitizer into my jaw. What a sore! And when I was trying my best to bear the result of her “cruel” action, she began pulling my tooth out. “ Wait, wait, it doesn’t work. Still, I can feel the pain”. But how could I say when her hands were almost inside my tiny (?) mouth. Oh, my God! Can you imagine how painful it was? Just thinking of it makes me feel sick. And at last, she delightedly threw my tooth into her stainless steel tray. Only half of my soul could hear that sound. I did not miss the teeth, definitely; but the pain was too … painful. Hu hu. And it was even worse: my jaw became numb on the way home. It is probably the first bad impression and from then on, I hate dentist. I am not scared of doctor, but dentist. I cannot explain but I always try to stay away from the dental office as far as possible.
And the most frightening thing of my childhood was my fear of losing my Mom. She usually arrived at home around 7pm while my class ended at 5pm. I came home, took a shower and waited for her. There was no one at my house at that time but a very old maid who always scolded me on my too-much-going out. She didn’t allow me to get to the playground where my friends were playing there to prevent me from getting dirt. Staying at home, I lied in my bed waiting for my Mom. And I thought of a very terrible disaster when my Mom could not come home. Until now, I don’t know why this thought appeared in my mind but I guess it comes from a song. Do you know the song “Đường Xưa Lối Cũ” sung by Thai Thanh? In that song, when a soldier son comes home from the battlefield, he expected that his Mom would be very happy welcoming him. But she has passed away several years before and it is the fierce war hindered the bad news to him. Even I was only a child but I always felt the sorrow when I listened to the song. And I was scared that I could lose my Mom. It’s very hard to tell you about that feeling in details but I am sure that it was not a very pleasant one. It was just terrible. Sometimes, it made me cry and I fell asleep. It’s my mother who woke me up and asked me worriedly about what had happened. Of course I couldn’t tell her the truth. It is a very bad thing and if we say it out, it seems to bring the bad luck. I was just silent and my Mom was too busy with the dinner to ask me more. She still doesn’t know what it was; maybe she has forgotten. But I have not. Today, listening to that song doesn’t make me feel that bad anymore but it reminds me of how bad I am to my Mom. She is the only one who loves me unconditionally no matter what I did, do and will do. She is happy when I smile, sad when I cry and depressed when I want to die. And I? I just benefit from her love. Only one thing releases me from this repentance is that my Mom knows I love her.
You’ve got bored, huh? I know this blog is gonna be a “family touching story”. Ok, I am stopping. I love you,… Mom!